Yet Another Blog on the Passage of Time

Time is on my side. Yes it is. Yes it is…

Wait! What?

Obviously, I’m not a Rolling Stone. Time is most assuredly not on my side.

It’s not that I don’t want it to be; -If I could ask for one thing for Christmas, time would be it! No, I’m not dying. Correction; I am dying, but not of anything immediate that I know of. No recent diagnosis I’m revealing here, just the simple, honest admission that time slips through my fingers faster than hot jell-o.

I’m in the final editing stages for ‘Beauty for Ashes’ and good gravy, it’s taking forever. I’d hoped to get this book out last summer. When summer turned to fall, the ‘Coming Soon’ banner on my website was updated, but I’ve only got 19 days left to meet the deadline. Ain’t gonna happen. My release date now reads ‘Coming in 2017’…

I’m disappointed in myself.

I mean, I started working on my next release within a week of publishing ‘These Things You Pass On’ back in May. I had a variety of completed first drafts from which to choose. My ‘Transitions’ Series has five manuscripts, just sitting there begging to be published, but need editing. I started with ‘Collision Course’ -first in the series. I soon became bogged down, because as much as I love the story of my first fictional characters, Mike and Carrie, it’s my first attempt at fiction. Suffice to say, it’s got a long way to go before it’s as good as I know it can be. After working on it for two months, I picked up some of my other work and re-read it. When revisiting the ‘Wounded Hearts’ series, I couldn’t help but notice how much more polished the rough drafts were. It was my second series; I’d written six books previous, and had obviously picked up some tricks of the trade along the way.

Even more polished, was ‘Beauty for Ashes’, my only completed stand alone. See, I’m quite long-winded, and have to scale my first drafts down by at least half. By ‘Beauty for Ashes’ I’d developed more skill being concise, and a better eye for what read well. So, after much consternation, I changed horses mid-stream, thinking I could meet a summer release date faster and get a head start on the following release if I went with the book needing the least editing.

I was wrong.

You see, around that time, I attended my first meeting as a new member of American Christian Fiction Writers, (ACFW). I loved that meeting, because a truly valuable teaching was given on point of view (POV). I also hated that meeting, because a truly valuable teaching was given on POV, and I knew I needed to look at my manuscript through a new lens with fresh eyes, incorporating what I’d learned. I’m glad I did. I believe my book will be better for it, but there was much to do, and I worked tirelessly to get it done. When I completed a once-through using this new perspective, I sent it off for review to my front line editor, but upon rereading it personally, I wasn’t happy with the result. It seemed a job halfway done, utilizing the knowledge I’d gleaned only sporadically. It was mushy and lukewarm, crossing back and forth between the old perspective and the new; not my best effort.

I will never publish a work I know can be better.

Of course, work can always be better… I’ve already got a list of revisions building for the second edition of ‘These Things You Pass On’. Arguably, the biggest advantage of being an indie author is I have control over my final product. ‘Beauty for Ashes’ was still officially a work in progress, and it’s potential was greater than it’s actual state, so I went back to the drawing board and, …we moved!

Moved!

Suddenly!

Unexpectedly!

Immediately!

My husband had it up to the proverbial ‘here’ with his job and retired.

Oh, we talked about it; I knew it was stewing, but much like our move to Houston, actually doing it came as a surprise! Evidence that I do indeed, live in la la land.(No, not L.A.; I’m a northern California girl…)

We listed the house, and it sold its first day on the market, hallelujah, -but the buyer wanted to take ownership in two weeks. …TWO WEEKS!!!

A whirlwind month later, I found myself again living in California; -out of boxes this time; seeing friends and relatives I missed more than can be expressed, and renovating a house we’d been intending to renovate for twenty years. Suffice to say, ‘Beauty for Ashes’ sat trapped in my computer. I couldn’t just leave it there. I ached to complete it, get it published, nudge it out of the nest and watch it fly.

I clocked out of my job of getting us settled, dusted my laptop off, and started editing again. I’ve been working on it though still unpacking; bidding my faithful dog of thirteen years farewell; refurbishing our junk room into a beautiful new guest room; tearing out our old kitchen and putting in a new; hosting Thanksgiving for twenty; and dealing with my wonderful husband’s constant interruptions, -a problem I always knew would arise upon his retirement. We’re figuring it out, -another work in progress.

At the moment, I’m a little passed the halfway mark. Editing is by far, the hardest part of writing. I have to say good-bye to passages I love, but don’t enhance the overall story. It’s hard. I love Dani, Travis, and the whole motley cast of characters. Stripping away moments that reveal lovable quirks hurt, but it’s necessary. My original goal was 350 pages; now I’m hoping to cull it down to around 400. My readers will definitely get their money’s worth. …Someday.

Every week that passes brings my own severe mental condemnation it’s still not done, and won’t be until after the holidays. That’s hard.

And therein lies my current battle with time. I’ve had tons of confrontations over the years, though writing is the first endeavor I’ve failed to meet a major deadline, and it’s happened more than once.

The older I get, the faster time speeds by, and with my newfound passion for writing I have much I want to accomplish. Skirmishes with the clock grow more and more frustrating. Our family celebrated the twins and my birthdays last night, maybe that’s why the face of the clock seems to be sticking its tongue out at me. I turned fifty-seven. Fifty-seven! How can that be? As I ponder my dilemma, I can’t help but walk away disoriented, but thankful.

I never dreamt I’d find myself writing at this point in my life. Each day I wake eager to get to it. My husband is happily tackling projects he’s wanted to tackle for years, and come spring, we’ll be taking short jaunts in the RV; exploring the beauty of the coast, the mountains, the desert; all with my trusty laptop in tow. I’ll continue to do both the drudge work and the fun, creative tasks to get my books out while on the road. When it comes right down to it, I’m mighty blessed, and truly appreciative.

I just wish I had time to savor it all…